YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF...
1. Your wrist watch has more computing power than a Pentium II.
2. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
3. Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
4. You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
5. You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
6. You own "Official Star Trek" anything.
7. You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
8. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
9. You have never backed up your hard drive.
10. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
11. You truly believe aliens are living among us.
12. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
13. You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".
14. You see a god design and still have to change it.
15. The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
16. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
17. You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are.
18. You have a functioning home copy machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
19. You have more toys than your kids.
20. You need a checklist to turn on the TV.
21. You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
22. You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
23. Your I.Q. number is higher than your weight.
24. The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.
25. You can remember seven computer passwords but not your anniversary.
26. You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already.
27. You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
28. Your father sat two inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors and you grew up thinking that was normal.
29. You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
30. You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
31. You did the sound system for your senior prom.
32. Your checkbook always balances.
33. Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
34. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
35. You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.
36. You spend more on your audio/visual system than your car.
37. You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
38. You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.
39. Your three year old daughter asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
40. Your basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine, 2. Fat, 3. Sugar, 4. Chocolate